I never intended for this to be a 3 part series, but in my mind I kept coming back to a few things that I thought needed to be covered.
So for those who are just joining the conversation, here are the previous posts in the series:
‘Calling Out’ or Cannibals (Part 1)
Top 5 Rules of Confrontation, That One Guy Came Up With (Part 2)
You can fill this one under the “So What?!” category. Why is it so important that when we disagree with others, that we disagree in the right way?
There are a few reasons why we must strive to get this right…
…because when we don’t love, we fail. (1 Cor. 13)
…because when we substitute reasoned arguments with shaming and dismissive snarkiness, iron no longer sharpens iron. Even if you’re right!
The latter is what I want to focus on (because I think the former speaks for itself).
In an argument, if you can paint your opponent as a bad person, and infer that anyone who shares your opponent’s view is also a bad person, well then, I’m going to take your side, every time.
note: I realize that the word “opponent” may not be the best word in this context and may suggest an unloving stance toward people we disagree with. That is not what I mean to convey, the limits of the English language simply have me cornered here.
Here’s the problem with that: When I choose to believe something because I think that people who believe the opposite are bad people, and not because I’ve used God-given discernment, then, even I’m right, that belief is hollow, anti-intellectual, and bypasses the need for the Holy Spirit and the discernment it gives.
When we believe, may we believe for God-honoring reasons, and when we reason with others, may we reason in love.
I grew up in a place where showing up at church every week equated being a good person even if out of it you were bullying innocents and not really living up to what you were meant to live up to, if anything the bad people argument will make me go against it as a reaction to that environment I’m used to…